the real enemy

The following quote is adapted from True Self/False Self by Richard Rohr.

Conversion is a process of disenchantment with our small, separate self, recognizing how truly afraid and insecure it is. The only way people can ever be freed from this fear and this insecurity is to be freed from themselves. There is almost a complete correlation between the amount of fear in one’s life and the amount of attachment we have to ourselves and our own agenda.

The person who is beyond fear has given up the need to control or possess or be right. Their being is grounded in the Being of God. As St. Francis of Assisi said, “I am who I am in God's eyes—nothing more, but nothing less.” A truly converted/transformed person does not need to impress anyone because they know that they are not who you think they are anyway—or even who they themselves think they are! Thinking one way or another doesn’t make it so.

That's what St. Paul meant when he so shockingly said: “You have died, you're dead” (Romans 6:3-5) when you are truly baptized into the death of the false self—the self that you don’t need anyway. Conversion happens when you finally face the real enemy, and guess what? It's you!

surrender through suffering

Speaking of surrender (Waterloo), I found the following writing posted online at one of the forums I read. It goes to the heart of why we in 1st world countries have such a difficult time understanding the importance of surrender in living our lives here on earth. I believe the abundant life is accessed through surrender. If we tend to have a fix-it/controlling type personality, we hinder our own surrender. We oppress the parts of us that we hate, deny, or fear. Our image-possessed culture, whether in church or out, teaches us to protect this illusion.

For us 1st world people, these hidden parts are best exposed through pain and trauma. Disillusionment is not far behind. We then are presented with an opportunity to confront "our weak spot" or spots, as in my case. But it is only an opportunity. It won't happen on its own. We chose whether to confront or continue to deny. Here's the writing:

SUFFERING

What is the oppressed part of your being?

Do you realize with what difficulty surrender will come to a fixing,
managing mentality? There's nothing in that psyche prepared to
understand the spiritual wisdom of surrender. All of the great world
religions teach surrender. Yet most of us, until we go through the
hole in our soul, "our weak spot in the middle", we just don't think
surrender is necessary. At least that's how it is for those of us in
First World countries. The poor, on the other hand, seem to
understand limitation at a very early age.

The Third World faces its limitation through a breakdown in the social-economic system. But we have to face our limitations, it seems, in the interior world. That's our liberation theology. We must recognize our own poor man, our own abused woman, the oppressed part of ourselves that we hate, that we deny, that we're afraid of. That's the hole in our soul. It's the way through, maybe the only way, says the crucified Jesus. (from Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr)

Waterloo -- talking to God

At the encouragement of friends, Abraham (my dh) & I recently watched the movie "Mama Mia". We loved it. It's a movie based on a Broadway show based on the music of ABBA. We weren't that familiar with ABBA, although I've heard some of their stuff through the years on the periphery of my life. Their 1st big U.S. hit was called Waterloo. Listen to it here, if you like, and follow along with the words below. It so much sounds like me talking to God.

My my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - finally facing my Waterloo

My my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - finally facing my Waterloo

So how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - finally facing my Waterloo
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you