This is a photo taken of me out front of our house on the farm when I was somewhere between one and two years of age. How much have I changed since this photo was taken? Did who I am change? Certainly much has been added since then. My familial and cultural environment have influenced the development of my mind, emotions, and body. Are these who I am? Certainly I am not my body. And for years I lived as though I was the summation of my mind and emotions, but I don't think this way anymore.
The essence of who I am is the part of me that identifies with God. I have the ability to observe my thoughts and emotions. The fact that I can observe these things is an indication that something other than mind and emotions exists inside me. I call this entity my spirit or true self... the part of me that comes from and is connected to God.
The thinking mind & feeling emotions thrive by creating baggage from past successes and failures. They also create baggage of future events, expectations of fear and hope. I call it baggage because past and future cannot be lived now. When we try to live in our memories and expectations we get suffering and emptiness on the negative side. Or we get temporary happiness and short-lived fulfillment on the positive side. But it is only temporary. Children don't do this. Children live in the "now".
I think that I am this child in the purest sense. I am not my accumulated mental and emotional baggage. Jesus told us to be like little children if we want to enter the Kingdom. The Kingdom belongs to "such as these" (Matthew 19:14). Little children don't carry baggage. So, daily, I'm recognizing the baggage and trusting God to transform me in the process. I don't understand how the transformation takes place. I just know that it's happening without me doing anything more than looking at it and seeing it for what it is.
"...and be not conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, for your proving what [is] the will of God -- the good, and acceptable, and perfect." Romans 12:2 (Young's Literal Translation)
2 comments:
Aww you were such a adorable child! I know what you mean in dealing with baggage and just letting it go.
Our "flesh" or ego doesn't like letting the baggage go. We believe the lie that our identity is wrapped up in the "stuff" that happens to us. Thus letting go of the baggage is like losing our identity, which can be quite scary. Recognizing who we really are in Christ is the secret. The rest falls away. Thanks for your comment, Kiara.
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