I did not choose to disbelieve. As I educated myself by reading and listening to science and theology related materials, which as a believer I would not have read, belief gradually fell away. This article from Psychology Today explains that people don't one day just decide they will no longer believe. It took some time before that day in which I realized I was no longer a believer. And I was okay with it. Actually it was a bit exhilerating to realize that I had so much to learn regarding things which I had ignored before.
Would believing be a better life than the life I live now? Perhaps. Could I do it again? No. I don't see it as possible anymore. That fairy-tale life has been extinquished from my heart (brain). How do you ignore knowledge and reality? Once the knowledge is inside the brain and understanding comes about things that most of humanity accepts, there is no reason to go back and believe what I previously believed. My worldview paradigm has shifted and I see things very different now than I did in the past.
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