religion is the problem

Perhaps philosophers will be the ones to set us on the right track...

gossip

Why are humans prone to gossip? The media, at least here in the U.S., pushes gossip, usually sexual in nature, to the top of the news chain, especially when the figure is a politician, a sports icon, a Hollywood star, or a religious leader.

Gossip is natural. It provides a sense of security in a perverse sort of way. If we can position ourselves in a more favorable light than the person we gossip about, we feel better about our situation. Even though our own life is not aided one fraction of an inch closer to improvement, we feel we’re “okay” or “better off than that other person” if we can talk about them and commiserate how horrible a situation they are in. We even “have all the answers” of what we would do if in a similar situation.

Another reason we gossip is we feel a need to separate the offender from the group while stating our disapproval of the particular behavior involved. By doing this we punish the offender and at the same time enforce the “rules” of accepted societal behavior. Again all quite natural.

Like everything else in life there are positive and negative aspects to gossip. In the positive, it makes us feel good individually and it reinforces societal rules. It is a good thing to express gratitude for our personal situation. We become more thankful for our good relationships. It’s better yet if we understand why our relationships are successful and we teach this to others by example or word. Teaching unacceptable behavior is a way of changing our society, even if only to those we speak to.

The negative side of the “good” feeling which gossip creates is that it tends to increase a sense of superiority in us, “I’m better than them” sort of thinking. Arrogance is a worm that burrows itself deep into our psyche and then manifests in not so good ways. It is very difficult to detect arrogance in ourselves and it makes not only our life miserable but also the lives of those around us. We cannot see it for what it is. We think everyone else has or is the problem. We defend our thinking at a cost however. We lose friends, spouses, jobs, children, etc. All in an attempt to be right. It usually takes quite an upset to turn us so that we can see our own arrogance.

Another negative is the effect gossip has on the one being gossiped about and those close to the situation. The condemnation, guilt, and shame associated with sexual failure specifically can be overwhelming to the offender and those close to them. Religion especially magnifies these effects. What is most needed is usually least given, that being support, understanding, and acceptance of the individual (not the behavior). In addition, family members are included in the punishment and are left “out in the cold” also.

When failure is treated as a disease, people stay away because it may be infectious. This is understandable. Not even religion can overcome the effects of the way our societal DNA works. By shunning and exclusion those who break the rules are punished. Those “put outside the camp“ are then left to their own resources to find a life worth living again.

political blurb of the day

Ryan for President...

The health care debate in this country reached its highest pitch this past Sunday night when the House of Representatives passed a semblance of a bill. This is what government does. It figures out ways to spend our tax dollars. I am concerned for how we go about paying for this one. Rep. Paul Ryan, in his articulation of this dilemma, becomes a likely candidate for President in 2012 in my opinion. (I don't even know too much about him, except his fiscally responsible approach, I like.)

The bi-partisan screaming is so ridiculous. The extremes on both sides of the issue only polarize our country more. When was the last time you "yelled" your way to a satisfactory reconciliation of two or more differing viewpoints? Find the next best thing to do and get on with the careful planning necessary to accomplish it.

burning light

"What is to give light must endure burning."

Viktor E. Frankl

superstition

"Men think [a disease] divine merely because they do not understand it. But if they called everything divine which they do not understand, why, there would be no end of divine things."

--Hippocrates (460-377 BCE)

reason or fear

"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear."

---Thomas Jefferson

(letter to Peter Carr, Aug. 10, 1787)

the unexamined life

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasure of illusion. ” Aldous Huxley